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As a psychologist with 25 years of experience, trained in 5 forms of psychotherapy, I’ve sat across from countless young men like Eddie, Ben, and the boys in their orbit. I’ve watched intelligent, sensitive adolescents contort themselves into performances of masculinity that leave them hollow, exhausted, and disconnected from their authentic selves.
I’ve also worked with young women like Hannah, who navigate a world that simultaneously hypersexualizes them and shames their sexuality, leaving them uncertain about their own desires and agency.
And I’ve seen the damage that digital culture inflicts on all young people’s capacity for genuine intimacy, with its surveillance, performance metrics, and curated personas.
Unscripted was born from these direct observations and from a deep frustration with how rarely young adult literature addresses the specific crisis facing teenage boys: the pipeline from loneliness to radicalization, the toxic scripts of the Manosphere, and the devastating costs of performed masculinity.
This novel is my attempt to show what healthy masculinity can look like—and to illustrate the brutal consequences when boys are denied the vulnerability, tenderness, and authentic connection they desperately need.
What Toxic Masculinity Actually Means
Let me be clear: masculinity itself is not toxic, otherwise our species would have disappear long ago.
The term “toxic masculinity” refers to specific cultural scripts about manhood that harm both men and the people around them.
Toxic masculinity teaches boys:
– “Emotions are weakness” (except anger, which is strength).
– “Vulnerability is humiliation.”
– “Sex is conquest, proof of power.”
– “Worth is determined by wealth, sexual ‘bodycount,’ and dominance.”
– “Asking for help is failure.”
– “Other men are competitors, not potential sources of support.”
– “Women exist to validate male status, not as full human beings.”
These beliefs create:
– Epidemic rates of male suicide (men die by suicide 3-4 times more often than women).
– Relationship violence and sexual assault.
– Inability to form intimate friendships.
– Resistance to therapy and mental health treatment.
– Radicalization into misogynistic online communities.
– Isolation, depression, and rage.
In Unscripted, we see toxic masculinity operating through:
– Percy’s LMS ideology (Looks, Money, Status as the only male worth metrics).
– Eddie’s father’s transactional view of women (“Complete them. File them. Forget them.”).
– Hugo’s enforcement of emotional suppression (“Penroses don’t wait. They take. Or ghost.”).
– The gym culture’s hierarchy where bodies are measured, compared, and ranked.
– The “bodycount” obsession that treats sexual partners as trophies.
– Ben’s internalization of alpha/omega hierarchies that makes him feel worthless.
But the novel also shows what happens when these scripts are challenged.
What Healthy Masculinity Looks Like
Healthy masculinity—the kind that allows boys to become whole, connected men—requires rejecting performance in favor of presence. It means:
• Emotional Literacy and Expression
– Recognizing and naming feelings beyond frustration and anger.
– Allowing yourself to feel sadness, fear, tenderness, and joy.
– Understanding that vulnerability requires more courage than suppression.
• Authentic Connection Over Performance
– Building relationships based on mutual seeing rather than status.
– Prioritizing depth over conquest.
– Accepting that intimacy requires risk.
• Consent and Communication
– Understanding that enthusiastic, ongoing consent is not optional.
– Checking in with partners rather than assuming.
– Recognizing that “yes” to one thing is not “yes” to everything.
• Accountability and Growth
– Taking responsibility when you cause harm.
– Learning from mistakes rather than defending them.
– Understanding that past trauma doesn’t excuse present harm.
• Male Friendship as Support
– Creating spaces where men can be vulnerable with each other.
– Challenging other men’s harmful behaviors.
– Building brotherhood on honesty rather than hierarchy.
• Respect for Women as Full Humans
– Rejecting the Madonna/Whore binary.
– Understanding that women’s worth isn’t determined by sexual availability.
– Recognizing that women’s desires matter as much as your own.
The Role of Adult Men
Boys don’t develop healthy masculinity in a vacuum. They need models that inspire and support their inner growth. If they are absent or uninvolved, the loud noise of influencers like the Tate Brothers & others risk to gain leverage on teen boys’ minds and lives.
Dr. Hutton represents what positive male mentorship can look like:
– Gentle but persistent challenge to toxic beliefs.
– Creation of a safe space for vulnerability.
– Belief in boys’ capacity for growth.
– Modeling that sharing your failures, doubts, and struggles is a strength.
– Using questions rather than lectures.
What Dr. Hutton does:
– Helps Ben identify the origin of his shame.
– Challenges Eddie’s transactional view of relationships.
– Creates space for both boys to access emotions beyond anger or shame.
– Never shames them for their struggles.
– Maintains appropriate boundaries while offering genuine care.
What adult men (especially fathers) present in boys’ lives can do:
– Talk about your own feelings and struggles.
– Model healthy relationships with partners.
– Challenge misogynistic jokes and comments when you hear them.
– Show physical affection with your sons (hugs, pats on the shoulder).
– Attend therapy yourself and discuss it openly.
– Admit when you’re wrong and apologize.
– Ask for help when you need it.
– Cry in front of your children.
– Talk explicitly about consent and respect.
What NOT to do:
– Tell boys to “man up” or “stop being a pussy.”
– Mock their emotional expression.
– Measure their worth by athletic ability or sexual conquest.
– Bond through degrading women.
– Treat therapy as shameful.
– Model that anger is the only acceptable male emotion.
– Remain silent when you witness toxic behavior.
A Note on Therapy
Both Ben and Eddie have access to private therapy with Dr. Hutton—a privilege not available to most teenagers. This isn’t accidental in the novel’s design.
Why I included therapy:
– To model that seeking help is a strength.
– To show what good therapy looks like (gentle challenge, safe space, genuine care).
– To demonstrate that boys can benefit from talking about feelings.
– To illustrate that mental health support shouldn’t be reserved for a crisis.
Why this is also problematic:
– Private therapy is prohibitively expensive for many families.
– Mental health care access is deeply tied to class and race.
– School counselors are overworked and under-resourced.
– Boys from marginalized communities face additional barriers to care.
What this means: We can’t therapy our way out of systemic problems. Addressing toxic masculinity requires cultural change, not just individual treatment. But therapy can be transformative for those who access it, and should be available to all who need it.
Final Thoughts
Unscripted is unflinching in its depiction of harm—violation of intimacy, toxic masculinity, digital surveillance, body shame—because I believe young people deserve stories that acknowledge their reality rather than sanitizing it.
But it’s also hopeful. Because I’ve watched, in my practice and in my life, people of all ages choose authenticity over performance. I’ve seen boys reclaim tenderness. I’ve seen girls claim desire. I’ve seen teenagers build identities beyond the scripts they’ve inherited.
The work is hard. The journey is messy. But on the other side of that work is the possibility of a genuine connection that doesn’t require performance, surveillance, or suppression.
